My Individual Quilt

The tapestry of my life pieces woven together yet spread out sowed within the fabric of my being and when I stand back and look at the reflections in my mind that holds so many memories, I find the fabric has been sowed together and now lays forth this unique individual quilt. The colors are vibrant, the stiches are strong. The squares all joining together a woman a heart full of compassion and passion. Hopes and visions of a time yet to come. 

Roads traveled, some leading nowhere and others bringing change dreaming of a port where one could set one’s feet within the soil and begin to build. Giving purpose and meaning to life and breath granted to me. Life did bring me many challenges many situations and circumstances many of trials and I discovered in each trial each challenge always seemed to get me one step closer to the living God. Inspired by his truth his promises his faithfulness. 

So, I take a deep breath and let out a sigh with relief realizing I am not alone, nor will I be left on this journey or in a new challenge or this present trial without his assistance. Knowing I must just continue to walk out in faith and belief it all will go accordingly as he has willed. This present trial brings to me a medical diagnosis. 

I was diagnosed with Interstitial Lung Disease Pulmonary Fibrosis. A disease that occurs when lung tissue becomes damaged and scarred. This thickened, stiff tissue makes it more difficult for your lungs to work properly. As pulmonary fibrosis worsens, you become progressively shorter of breath. They will continue to monitor the condition by pulmonary function test and cat scan. Currently, I’m not on oxygen and have no idea how quickly this disease will progress. What I do know is it’s important that I continue being active and continue my breathing exercises. That I keep focused of having good days, I choose to keep living this journey to the fullest and make the best of the days and time God is giving me.  

I ponder what if anything will be done differently. How will this new diagnosis impact the ones I love? I don’t know however I do know I trust the living God and know he only has the very best for me as he has always.  I do need his assistance and the beautiful thing is I know he is here with me in this trial. Along with my family and close friends.  I also believe and know that God can take the diagnoses from me. 

I will continue to adapt to a new way of doing things because this disease will progress rather, I die from this or not life does end for us all. I am aware that yes it may be my cause of death. Managing the chronic portion of this disease is important so that I continue to live my life. There is no cure for this disease. I will continue to live my life until my death. So many give up and stop living. I choose to live my life to the fullest with all the time God gives me. Knowing he could heal me at any time. I know he will supply me with everything I need as I continue with this trial. 

So, within the pages and thoughts of my mind. I write it is a way I can express and see the beauty in this journey this time given. I am praising the creator. So here I am, and I will continue in and through him to be all he created me to be just me. I desire to share this diagnosis of this journey with others. It may help me, and it may help another both is of equal importance. 

There will always be someone to care we are never alone. I breathe out and with a deep sigh I realize now is the time for me to find that way to let me live as I have grown much accustomed to being always that strong vibrant dynamic woman. The diagnosis has not changed me per say. 

BluebirdSK ©11/08/23